Act Your Age... Letting Go

Just three years ago, I was living in Halifax with my long-term girlfriend, taking my undergraduate, and working a co-op term at the Department of National Defence. Lisa loved animals and though she was allergic to nearly every species under the sun, she desperately needed a creature to love. While her primary goal was to get a hypoallergenic dog (she has one now), we were moving every year and it seemed irrational to limit ourselves to the very few dog-friendly apartments in Halifax. Cats caused her the sniffles, fish were hard to cuddle, and hamsters were fragile and boring.

So to appease her, I did some research and discovered the perfect pet: rats. They were furry enough to cuddle, intelligent enough to train, and small enough that they wouldn’t infringe on our living arrangements. I barely uttered the idea and she was on Kijiji, found free pet rats, and got on a bus heading outside of the city to pick up a grey hooded rat I named Adelaide “Ada” Rat-sputin and an albino rat she named Sophie Flawless. A few months later, Daisy “Dukes” O’Dare, a tan baby rat destined to be snake food, was added to the family.

I am not a pet person. When I was young I loved animals, but in adulthood they’re just one more chore. So I was hesitant to get a pet from the beginning. Then when I too often was left to clean their cage and fill their food bowl, the idea that they would be a chore became a reality. But they became something more than that and their intelligence and cuteness melted my heart. Before too long, I was calling them my rat babies and had pictures on my cell phone, which I showed off like a proud parent.

Like any new pet owners, we had our hands full. We fed them, cleaned their cage, trained them to do a handful of tricks, and tried to spend as much time with them as possible. In return, they were great pets. When you’d enter a room they’d jump to the side of their cage and stare out at you as if they were happy that you were there. They learned their names and would come when they were called. And like all good pets, they were incredibly cute, despite their long tails that turn so many people off.

Time went by and, as it so often does, life changed. Lisa and I broke up. I moved to Ontario to do my Masters and had to leave my babies behind. Then when Lisa started having allergic reactions to the now adult rats, they got forced onto my younger sister who had moved to the city a year before. Jessica raised them like they were her own.

Two months after Jessica inherited this responsibility, I got a phone call. Sophie, our albino rat, had died. Since I was waiting for the bus with a group of school friends heading to a restaurant for dinner, I kept my composure and after the meal I got a second call. Lisa and Jessica were burying Sophie at the school. Upset, I excused myself to the bathroom and listened as they tried their best to make me a part of the funeral.

Ada and Daisy kept each other company for nearly a year after Sophie passed, but by the time I returned from Ontario and Europe it was clear that Ada wasn’t doing okay. On numerous occasions, her breathing got shallow, she would lie on her side, and we would think she was done for, but three times she bounced back. It was on October 26th that she once again lied down and began to breathe harshly.

It had been a hard month with unemployment and a break-up chipping away at my typically positive attitude. As she lay gasping, I held her and prayed that God would take her away. I cursed myself for not being stronger and not being able to put her out of her misery. And in the end, I laid her on her blanket and walked away. Having experienced so much loss, I couldn’t watch her pass. Less than an hour later, I checked on her again and she was stiff and cold.

Adelaide was gone.

Sarah, a friend I made during my undergraduate, is renting a house with a big back yard. So that evening my sister and I got a ride to her home and we dug a hole deep into her rock garden with a spade. After a few words, we placed Ada into the shallow grave and buried her.

This week’s “Act Your Age” has been a bit different from past ones, since I’ve told you a story of something that happened to me as opposed to something I set out to experience. I tell this story because our lives are defined not only by the decisions and paths we choose, but by how we react when life happens to us.

You’re forced to retire. You become dependent on medicine or a walker or an institution. A pet or a loved one passes and you can’t imagine a life without them. I make no claims to know what anyone has gone through, but these are all similar stories. They are stories of loss, but also stories about trying to put a new life together and accepting the changes for good or bad.

The death of a pet is an interesting allegory for all of the shit that can go wrong and all the things a person has no control over in life. I don’t have any answers or pearls of wisdom to make the feelings of powerlessness and loss go away; other than to say this, as clichéd as it may be. You’re not alone. Your story is timeless and its universal and we all go through it. Even though in this instance you can do nothing but accept the things you cannot change, there are things that you can control. And it’s okay to grieve and it’s okay to hold onto your memories and cherish them. It's even okay to fall apart for a while and lose yourself... to not be okay... to mourn and shatter. Just, when you’re ready, come back to us.

I Can Explain... Internet Vernacular

As much as some of us would like for language to be bound between the covers of the latest edition of our dictionary, it is a far more dynamic cultural entity. It is continually adapting and changing to fit the technology and culture of the time. Because of this, the internet and cell phones have spawned their own sort of language. For good or bad, it has begun to enter the vernacular of young and old a like and while we may not want to embrace it all too quickly, it’s important to at the very least try and understand it. So before you start ROTFL at the thought and I TTYL... I can explain!

Like all languages, internet vernacular does have certain rules. Let’s start with the simplest. Any word that sounds like a letter or number is represented by that letter or number. This includes, of course B (be), C (see), K (okay), R (are), U (you), Y (why), 1 (won), 2 (to/too), 4 (for), and 8 (ate). Thus you could see a sentence like “R U OK?” or “I C U R doing OK” or “Y?”

Along the same lines, if a symbol or number sounds like a part of a word, then it can be substituted for that part. The number 4, sounding like for, could thus be substituted in words like B4 (before) or 4ever (forever). The number eight can be used in the same way in words like GR8 (great), L8 (late), H8 (hate), and W8 (wait). The application of this rule in compound words including a number is more obvious including every1 (everyone). The symbol @ can be used in both of these ways. It can be used separately as its own word @ (at) or as part of a word like L@R (later).

Next, in internet vernacular abbreviations and acronyms are used often. Most abbreviations can be sounded out or their meaning can be assumed like plz or pls (please), abt (about), and def (definitely). However, if no one tells you the meaning of the acronyms, they are much harder to decipher. The more common acronyms include:

That’s funny and/or has made me laugh:

§ Lol (Laugh out loud)

§ Lmao (Laugh my a** off)

§ Rotfl (Rolling on the floor laughing)

Good bye:

§ Brb (Be right back)

§ Ttyl (Talk to you later)

§ C ya (See you)

And:

§ Btw (By the way)

§ ILY (I love you)

§ JK (Just kidding)

§ OMG (Oh my god)

Of course, smiling faces or “smileys” and symbols are often used to convey emotions including:

§ Happiness as a colon and left facing bracket :)

§ Extreme happiness as an equal sign and a capital “D” representing a big smile =D

§ Sadness as a colon and right facing bracket :(

§ Crying as a colon, apostrophe and right facing bracket :’(

§ Suggestiveness as a semi-colon and left facing bracket representing a winking face ;)

§ Silliness as a colon and capital P representing a person sticking their tongue out :P

§ Love as a triangle left and number three representing a heart <3

And the list goes on and on. So if you’re grandson ever says “l.o.l.” after you say something funny and you want to know what the heck he’s trying to convey... well... I can explain!

Act Your Age… Take a Flight

I have a love/hate relationship with flying. The fact that for relatively cheap prices you can get across the country in no time at all is a real perk. The propulsion you feel as the plane hits that take-off speed and the tires lift from the asphalt is incredible. Even the little packages of cookies are great. For me, it’s the landing I can’t stand. With sensitive ears, the swelling pressure in my head makes it feel as if my eyes will explode from their sockets.

I remember the first time it happened. It was three years ago. I hadn’t flown in nearly a decade, but suddenly I found myself on a plane to Newfoundland for a summer working at Memorial University. While the ride was enjoyable enough (I remember watching Boston Legal for the first time and since then I’ve watched the entire series twice), the landing made me face my mortal existence. It started with my ears feeling clogged. Then a small headache began to develop near the front of my brain. As the pressure built so did the pain, until I felt like there must be a blood clot in my brain ready to blow my head clear off my neck; irrational as that may be.

So finding myself at the Halifax Stanfield International Airport on August 30^th, with a cross-Atlantic flight before me, I had mixed feelings. I was certainly excited about flying to Europe for a month long adventure, but that pain… it was a more pressing concern.

I went through security without a problem and met my friend, Natasha, in the lounge area. We would be taking this flight together. The flight began to board and the two of us walked down the long chute-like hallway and reached the door to the plane. The crack between the hallway and door showed a small glimpse of the ground far below. Cautiously, I stepped over the crack and smiled at the female flight attendant standing before me. She pointed me in the direction of my seat, which seemed silly all things considered. Stepping onto the front of the plane, there was only one direction to go, but I’m sure she just meant it to be a friendly gesture.

Because I was flying Iceland Air, each of the headrests had a fun fact about Iceland. I found my seat and began my process. I took a magazine, headphones, gum, and a bottle of water out of my knapsack before sliding the bag under my seat. I put my supplies in the pouch on the back of the seat in front of me, buckled my seat belt, and leaned my head back against the Icelandic factoid. I was in a middle seat with Natasha sitting at the window and a quiet man sitting to my left. I was pleased to see the small television screen built into the back of the seat in front of me.

A woman’s voice came over the PA system, welcomed us aboard and explained the emergency plan in case of plane problems. The flight attendants stood in the aisles and did their all too familiar dance: pointing to the six exits, demonstrating how to use the oxygen mask that will fall in case of a change in cabin air pressure, and showcasing the flotation vest.

Once they were finished their presentation, the lights dimmed and the seat belt sign lit up. There was no turning back. The airplane slowly began to inch its way to the tarmac in the darkness of the night and before I knew it we were in line for take off. There seems to always be that moment of dead stop before all the engines are switched on full and you’re pressed into your seat. I was propelled back as the plane barreled forward.

My stomach rose to the back of my throat as the nose of the plane tilted to the sky and the wheels left the runway. It’s in these moments that I become incredibly Catholic. I did the sign of the cross and began with my Hail Mary’s. If I’m going to die and face the Almighty, I’m going out with a prayer on my lips.

And then we were airborne. The plane turned to the right in the air and for a moment there was uncertainty of which way was up. Up and up we rushed, until the plane finally leveled out and we were on our way. I finished the last of my prayers and turned on the TV in front of me. It was a four hour flight to Iceland and then another five hours to our destination in Paris. Three movies and a pack of cookies later, we were descending.

Before they announce that we’d almost arrived and were preparing out descent, I could feel it in my ears. The slow descent starts and the pressure builds immediately. I had read, after my first horrible flight, that drinking water could help since it causes you to swallow repetitively. So that’s what I did. I took out my liter of water, tipped the bottle back, and sipped it slowly and consistently. At the same time, I chewed loudly on three pieces of gum. The pressure built anyway and the headache started. But the feeling of my head exploding never comes and we land without too much suffering.

On safe ground for only a temporary stay in Iceland, I desperately want to get off the plane. I’m antsy and need to get out. It takes another fifteen minutes for the plane to be attached to the building and for the people in the rows in front of me to gather their bags and move off the plane.

Despite my trepidation about flying, the experience is always exciting and the destination always makes the pain of getting there worth while. So whatever you’re reason for flying, whether it’s to see family or a new country, I highly suggest it!

I Can Explain… Vampires!

This past Sunday, on Halloween, you wouldn’t have been surprised to see the typical array of ghouls and ghosts wandering the street in search of their next feed (i.e. Candy). But given the current state of popular culture and the sudden fixation on the vampire phenomenon, seeing a blood sucker has become common place in television shows, movies, and books throughout the year. So what are these new vampires like and why the sudden trend? Please remove your fangs from my neck so that… I can explain!

Vampire lore and its infusion into our popular culture is nothing new. It started with a short story in 1819 called The Vampyre by John Polidori, continued in 1897 with Bram Stoker’s pivotal piece Dracula, and more recently picked up with movie trilogies like Blade and The Lost Boys. In the past few years this genre of horror has resurfaced once again though the reason is uncertain. Many theorize that the trend reflects current issues of immigration, religion, or AIDS, while Stephen Marche in Esquire Magazine suggests that vampires have become popular again because “young straight women want to have sex with gay [Read: Unattainable] men.”

Whatever the reason for the sudden insurgence over the past few years, it’s relatively safe to blame Twilight for bringing vampires back out of their coffins. A series of four books written by Stephenie Moyer, the stories tell the tale of Isabella “Bella” Swan and her infatuation with a quiet, uninterested high school peer named Edward Cullen, who, of course, turns out to be a vampire. Complications ensue as a love triangle starts with werewolf Jacob Black and vampires continually try to kill Bella.

HBO’s True Blood has a different take on vampires. Having existed for centuries, vampires in True Blood have recently surfaced and begun to try and mainstream. This means that rather then hiding they are trying to be accepted by society. Many have stopped killing humans and drink a blood substitute branded as “True Blood,” which comes in flavours like O-Negative and AB-Positive. Taking place in a small town in America’s south, the first season’s strife is caused by the prejudice against vampires. When waitress Sookie falls in love with a vampire named Bill, the town must choose sides. The idea of what it means to be human is explored in a blatant way, but the ideas proposed are often intriguing. Certainly vampires lose control and kill, but are humans not as equally volatile? Interesting. The vampires as a minority trying to gain equal rights is also an allegory for the gay rights movement according to the show’s creator.

Not all the vampire fiction uses the same lore. Whether it’s Edward or Bill, there are many commonalities and differences between modern vampires. For example, while Edward sparkles in the sunlight, Bill burns to ash.

Whatever the reason, vampires will be with us for a while longer. The final Twilight book is going to be divided into two movies coming out over the next couple of years and season 4 of True Blood comes out in the summer of 2011. That said, this vampire trend is not immortal and eventually a new or old trend will be the stake to the heart to vampire’s popularity. Hopefully, that trend will be zombies, but that’s just me wishing. In any case, prepare for some more bat-filled nights and if you were wondering why you saw so many fanged kiddies this Halloween well… I can explain!

I Can Explain... 3D Movies

After years of 3D being relegated to documentary films at the IMAX theatre, it suddenly seems like every movie this summer was taken into the third dimension. From Toy Story 3 (perhaps the best movie I saw this summer and the newest addition to my top five all time favourite movies) to Avatar to this fall’s Piranha 3D, the 3D graphics spanned genres and demographics. But why the sudden re-emergence of this 50 year old cinematic styling? And how does 3D work? Put on your 3D picture glasses and sit back because… I can explain!

Movies that are in well-done 3D are supposed to appear to jump out of the screen at you. Regularly, you may see people reach out towards the screen to try and grab a hold of whatever seems to be immediately in front of their face. Mediocre 3D will just seem to have another dimension… more depth. However, in general, I find one often gets used to it within the first few minutes and it doesn’t make a significant difference.

So how does it work? Well, most people have two eyes. This is what gives us depth perception. Looking at an apple on a table in front of you, your left eye sees part of the left side of the apple and your right eye sees the apple from a different perspective (around 2 inches over). Since your two eyes then merge these two images into your sight, the apple appears to be three dimensional. Movies in 3D work in a similar way. If you’ve ever taken off your 3D glasses in a 3D movie, you’ll notice the film looks like its showing itself twice: once and then a second time overlapped and slightly to the right. That’s because the film is being shown on top of itself. The glasses make it so that you see each film in only one of your eyes. Thus your mind believes that there exists that depth. Just like the apple.

Three-dimensional photography has been around since the mid-1930s, but it was in the early 1950s when 3D films became popular. At the time, the process involved using two projectors to show the same film side-by-side. In the 1960s, the process made a comeback with an array of B-horror-movies including Amityville 3D and Jaws 3D. This did little to progress the styling. It was actually a Canadian company called the IMAX Corporation that re-launched 3D in the mid-1980s with its non-fiction films.

Finally in 2003, James Cameron, the man who would later bring you Avatar, reinvented 3D film-making with a new system called the Reality Camera System, which he used to film Ghosts of the Abyss. Since this film, 3D has progressively grown in popularity until this summer when it felt like there were more 3D than 2D movies. Some would argue that the popularity coincides with a time when the technology is ready for it, while others would say that 3D is a novelty only being used to get bums in seats. Only time will tell.

Until we see if 3D is the new norm or if it’s a passing fad (2011 is expected to also see an abundance of 3D movies), the stores are being filled with new gadgets to appease our longing for 3D. There are 3D plasma screen TVs, 3D digital cameras, and personal rechargeable 3D glasses. And if you’re blind in one eye or don’t know what all the fuss is about, well… I can explain!